Cinematical

Welcome back to another installment of Insert Caption -- the game President Bush would love to play ... if only he knew how to find the internet. Zing! Last week we asked you to "go long" for a photo from the new movie The Express, and score you did. Congrats to the three sports who managed to cross into our funny zone. (Get it -- instead of end zone, I said funny zone? Heh ... wait, why aren't you laughing?)

1. "Staring Contest? This is no Staring Contest....This is FOOTBALL!" -- Darren C.

2. 'Coach: Why aren't you playing up to your obvious potential yet?
Player: Because we haven't had the requisite training montage yet!" -- Matt B.

3. "Damn ... Did you hear about O.J.?" -- Chaz K.

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I'm a little afraid of the captions we'll be receiving this week, in honor of the new Oliver Stone flick W. (in theaters October 17), though I'm sure our readers will show a little {cough} respect with their captions. Based on the life and times of our current president (who'll be leaving office in just a few months), W. stars Josh Brolin (as W.) and a whole slew of all stars as some of our most favorite political heroes. The candidates behind our three favorite captions will spin away with one W. poster, one W. t-shirt and a set of six W. shot glasses. Sound off below ...



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Welcome back to another installment in our groundbreaking, game-changing (to borrow a phrase from the news anchors of the world) Insert Caption series -- where you provide the content and we provide the prizes. Last week we asked you to dish out some captions for a photo from How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, which opens in theaters today. Congrats to our three winners -- none of whom include you, dude.

1. "But the ad said the auditions were for Hair" -- Debra F.

2. "All Simon's attempts to compliment Jeff's "very masculine" hair piece ended in futility after mistakenly introducing himself to whom he thought was "Mrs. Bridges." -- Nathan H.

3. "Look, it's part of the bailout agreement. I get to keep my CEO golden parachute, and you have to swim back to England." -- Kevin M.

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This week we've purchased a one-way ticket for The Express, which hits theaters on October 10th, and follows the story of Ernie Davis, the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy. The three readers who score a touchdown with our caption judges this week will hit the showers with a prize package that includes one The Express poster, one The Express t-shirt, one The Express hat and one The Express mini football. Sunday afternoon will never be the same again. Sound off below ...



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Welcome back to another installment of Insert Caption -- our imaginary award-winning weekly contest in which you won't lose friends and alienate people, but you will walk away with some cool prizes (assuming you make us laugh, like, a lot). Last week we snuggled up next to Richard Gere, Diane Lane and a big box of tissues in preparation for their new flick Nights in Rodanthe, based on the Nicholas Sparks novel. Congrats to our three winners who all somehow managed to write their captions without shedding even one tear.

1. We've secretly replaced this couple's '94 Zinfandel with new Folger's Crystals. Let's see if they notice. -- Kurt P.

2. "Don't look now but there is a couple who looks exactly like us in the next room." -- Frank T.

3. "I'm going to be honest. You looked better on MySpace." -- Kyle S.

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This week we're losing friends and alienating a whole bunch of people while celebrating a new film called -- wait for it -- How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. In the flick, Simon Pegg stars as a British writer who bumbles and fumbles his way through a new gig at a high-profile magazine in New York City. Megan Fox, Gillian Anderson, Jeff Bridges and Kirsten Dunst round out the cast. The folks behind our three favorite captions this week will take away one very cool How to Lose Friends and Alienate People poster signed by the man himself, Simon Pegg. Go for it ...



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Welcome back to another installment of Insert Caption -- the game that's nothing compared to a romantic night in Rodanthe. Last week we asked you to cough up a caption for those fellas from Righteous Kill, Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. Congrats to Matt N (who grabs an excellent DVD pack featuring The Godfather, Scarface and Heat) for a caption we definitely won't fughetabout.


1. "This is interesting... he just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance." -- Matt N.

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Once again, this week we're reuniting with a memorable on-screen duo and celebrating the romantic Nights in Rodanthe, starring Richard Gere and Diane Lane. And once again, Diane Lane seems to be the unfaithful one (what is it with these two?) as she, playing an unhappily married woman, strikes up a spark or two with a doctor (Gere) traveling to to visit his estranged son. The three folks behind our favorite captions will take home one Nights in Rodanthe Sloan Beach/Book Tote with embroidered title treatment, one insulated tote with wine and cheese service for two, two wine charms, one copy of "Nights in Rodanthe," one book light, one Ultra Hyde bookmark, one long sleeved Nights in Rodanthe t-shirt and one key tag photo frame. Now if you can't do a little wooing with all of that ... well, you're on your own. Sound off below.



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Welcome to another edition of Insert Caption -- where your comments are righteous and the prizes are, indeed, killer. Last week we asked you to have a laugh with George Clooney and Frances McDormand, and then leave a caption for a photo from their new movie Burn After Reading. Warning: The only thing the following winning captions are burning is a giant hole in your funny bone. (Okay, that was lame ...)

1. "Frannie's reaction to George's "stretch move" was one for which he was totally unprepared." Charles P.

2. "While the general consensus was that Syriana was a somber geopolitical thriller about the unintended consequences of the U.S.'s dependence on foreign oil, those who actually "got" it found the movie to be quite funny..." Matt S.

3. "Although Frances was enjoying the movie, George's good time was tempered by the realization that he shouldn't have put butter on the popcorn and still utilized the old "cut a hole in the bottom of the bucket" trick." -- Ray R.

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This week we're ready to rumble with a coupla goodfellas from the neighborhood, if you know what I mean. These guys ... these are good guys, and you may know them by their street names: Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. Both star as two tough New York City detectives in Righteous Kill (in theaters today), and the one lucky sonuvagun behind our favorite caption will sneak away with one Righteous Kill DVD gift pack containing The Godfather, Scarface & Heat and one Righteous Kill movie poster. Talk about an offer you can't refuse. Sound off below!



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Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game you won't want to burn after reading ... because, well, how could you win any prizes then? Last week we asked you to give us your best college-esque caption for a photo from the new comedy College. In return for your brilliance, we were shelling out a one-of-a-kind beer pong table. Sweeet! Only one winner this week, so congrats to John R. for his inspiring take on a classic tale ...



1. "Unfortunately, try as he might, Peter just couldn't find his way back into Narnia" -- John R.

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This week, we're shacking up with our old Oscar-winning pals Joel and Ethan Coen as they get ready to unveil their latest darkly comedic crime caper, Burn After Reading, starring folks like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich and Frances McDormand. Prizes? Oh yeah, check it: One Grand Prize winner will receive one Burn After Reading USB 2.0, one T-shirt, one Water Bottle and two Wrist Bands. Wait, there's more! Four first prize winners will each receive one T-shirt, one Water Bottle, and two Wrist Bands. Sound off below!



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Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game that makes beer pong look like a visit to the dentist's office. Last week we asked you to rock our worlds and come up with your funniest caption for a photo from the new movie Hamlet 2. Needless to say, you delivered all that and then some ...


1. "Since the school won't teach you the theory of evolution, I have decided to teach it through the wonders of interpretive dance." -- Ryan S.

2. "...come on you guys I am very clearly a mailbox, I have never seen a group of people so horrible at charades." -- Dana C.

3. "When hunting rabbits you have to be vewwwy vewwwy quiet!" -- Chris R.

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This week we really have something special for you kids going back to school. And when I say school, I mean college. And when I say college, I mean -- BEER PONG! Oh yes, we're not messing around with this one. (Cinematical is heading back to school in style!) In honor of the new movie College -- about three almost-freshmen who take a weekend trip to visit a prospective college and wind up in wayyy over their heads -- one grand prize winner will stumble away with a sweet beer pong table. And if you don't know what beer pong is, then, well, how in the world do you not know what beer pong is? Dude! Sound off!



Please note that you must be 21 to enter this particular contest. Read the official rules for the contest right here.

Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game where we definitely rock it with sexy Jesus all night long. Last week we asked you to strap in Statham-style and race to be the first one to knock us over with a caption for an image from the flick Death Race. Congrats to all three of our winners -- your thirst for speed, prison humor and bald men is quite inspiring to us all.


1. "You sank my battleship!!" -- Jason F.

2. "Unfortunately, the Death Staring Contest proved unpopular." -- Dan N.

3. "In the prisons of the future, its all about survival of the baldest." -- Ben K.

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This week we're trading in our set of death wheels for a little fun with the theater kids as they rock it out in the new comedy Hamlet 2. In the flick (which has been getting great buzz for a long time now), the hilarious Steve Coogan stars as a failed actor-turned-drama teacher who rallies his students around an absurd, politically incorrect staging of, well, Hamlet 2. The aspirings behind our three favorite captions will prance away with one Hamlet 2 t-shirt, one Hamlet 2 wristband, one sexy Jesus action figure, and one Hamlet 2 car air freshener. I personally have the action figure dancing on my desk as we speak and -- um, yeah -- this Jesus is pretty sexy. (Do I go to hell for saying that?) Sound off below!



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Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game where you all race to the death to provide us with the best possible captions for photos from upcoming films. Last week we asked you to steal some of our thunder and shoot us your bestest captions for an image from Tropic Thunder. Luckily, we managed to choose three winners without staging a protest, and so congrats to you ... and you ... and you.

1. "They knew something had gone very wrong on the set of Alien 5 when, unexpectedly, Robert Downey Jr. popped out of the soldier's chest." -- Kurt P.

2. OK, this might not be the right time to bring this up ... but I'm pretty sure you still owe me for that last trip to IHOP." -- Jeremy C.

3."You can be my wing man anytime" -- Mike R.

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This week we're strapped in and ready to roll out with the ultra serious Jason Statham (for real, has anyone ever seen this guy smile?), who stars in the new flick Death Race (in theaters August 22). In the film, Statham stars as an ex-con who's forced by the warden of a prison to compete in a car race where severe road rage and the annihilation of your competitors is recommended. The drivers behind our three favorite captions this week will cruise away with one Death Race poster, one Death Race t-shirt, one Death Race tank top, and one Death Race hat. I'd tell you to use all that to create your own Death Race in the comforts of your home ... but something tells me that might not be the greatest idea. Sound off below!



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Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game that brings the tropic thunder and then some! Last week we asked you to strap on a pair of those magical traveling pants and participate in a little caption-ing for a photo from the new flick The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Note to someone: Never include a small group of pretty girls amongst a few large, orange bouncing balls. Why? Well, to our winners ...


1. "Your balls don't scare me." -- Paul P.

2. Suzie, this is an intervention. We understand that you have a problem with oversized polyps, but you can't just leave them all over the living room like this." -- Kurt P.

3. "This is what happens to the sisterhood once the pants stop fitting." -- Rifah O.

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This week, it's raining madness and we're traveling into the heart of the jungle with the boys from Tropic Thunder -- a film that's absolutely hysterically insane. Ben Stiller directs and stars alongside folks like Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr. (as a black man), Jay Baruchel and Brandon T. Jackson -- all of whom play a group of actors shooting the most expensive war picture of all time. But when the real war comes a little too close for comfort, our pretend soldiers will need to get "in the sh*t" ... for realz. The folks behind our three favorite captions will helicopter away with one very awesome signed Tropic Thunder movie poster. Sound off below!



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Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game that's great to play while you're traveling ... with pants ... for a second time! Last time we met in this glorious space, we asked you to bring along some funny to compliment an image from the film Step Brothers -- and you gave us spider monkey attacks, Mountain Dew jokes and screaming peas. Right on!

1. "I told you not to tease those spider monkeys, they'll come at you ... well, like spider monkeys." -- Matt H.

2. "That's what happens when you actually try to do the "Dew." -- Kathi F.

3. "You're right, I can hear the little peas screaming as they're thawing out. That's just weird." -- P.J.

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This week, we're back again with our four favorite friends and the extremely special pair of jeans that works its way from one girl to the next over the course of one busy summer. You know what they say: Some friends just fit together. (And how come my jeans never seem to fit?) Yup, it's The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (in theaters August 6), and the authors behind our three favorite captions will travel away with one Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 tank top, one BeDazzler stud-setting tool with assorted studs and crystals, one The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 soundtrack, one (1) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 mini tote, one The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 charm key chain, one The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 visor, one The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 lip balm lanyard, and one The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 beach ball. Sound off below!



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Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- that popular online game the whole dysfunctional family can enjoy! Last week, of course, we traveled to Gotham City and asked you fine, dark captioners to give us your best stuff for a photo from this summer's biggest film, The Dark Knight. Needless to say, you certainly lived up to your end of the bargain -- we received a ginormous amount of entries, and it definitely took some time to pick our three winners. Congrats to you; Gotham is safe once again ... for now.


1. "Hmm ... no, the Joker hasn't accepted my friend request on Facebook either." Jeremy C.

2. Really, Lucious? You can build a car that can practically fly, but you have to call me to get your iTunes off shuffle? Justin B.

3. "Maybe placing an ad on Craigslist for a 'Boy Wonder' wasn't such a good idea." -- Robert L.

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This week we're psyching ourselves up for what looks to be another hysterical comedy from the team behind Talladega Nights and Anchorman. Directed by Adam McKay, Step Brothers (which hits theaters on July 25) stars Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly as two competitive stepbrothers who must find a way to get along when their single parents get hitched. The three winners from this week will each receive one totally rad Step Brothers poster. Throw it up on the wall; make your stepbrothers and sisters jealous! "I won this! Not you!" Sound off below ...



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Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game that makes us all Bat-crazy every Friday afternoon right here on Cinematical! Last week we asked you to get your red on with a little Hellboy in honor of the big dude's return to the big screen this weekend in Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Congrats to our three winners ... and perhaps Guillermo del Toro will use your ideas in the next installment. (Fresca's makin' a comeback!)

1. "Yep, there it is: 'May cause redness and swelling of appendages.'" -- Jordan B.

2. "Even Hellboy later admitted that night might be a new record for worst case of 'Beer Goggles'". -- Chaz K.

3. "I have to admit, Fresca doesn't really suit my personality." -- Dan N.

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Why so serious? It's Friday, and I think it's quite obvious that this was the week you crazy captioners have been waiting for! Yup, the Bat is officially back ... and to celebrate we've got one heckuva prize package for the top three captions based on the photo below from The Dark Knight (in theaters July 18). Give us your Gotham best, and you could walk away with one Dark Knight moleskin journal with Joker card, one Dark Knight black metal pen, one Dark Knight ladies' tank, one Dark Knight bracelet, one Dark Knight military hat and one Dark Knight mens' tee. Good luck! And don't forget to check back next week to see who won ... same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.



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Welcome back to another funtastic, Americana edition of Insert Caption -- the game where you don't need fireworks to blow our minds. Last week we asked you to step up to the mic with some dope captions for a photo from The Wackness. Congrats to Kurt P., who can now escape the summer heat and chill out with a new portable DVD player. We're jealous. We might stalk you Kurt. Be ready.

1. "Young couple seeks father figure, must have Hawaiian shirt, facial hair, and soft focus." -- Kurt P.

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This week we're celebrating our independence with a big, bad red dude named Hellboy. That's right! Guillermo del Toro, Hellboy and all his freak-ish friends are back to get their fight on in Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and the winners behind our three favorite captions based on the photo below will slip away with one Hellboy 2 t-shirt, one Hellboy 2 hat, one Hellboy 2 belt with buckle and one official Hellboy 2 poster. It's hot as hell outside, and come July 11 (when Hellboy 2 hits theaters), it'll get even hotter. Sound off critters!



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Welcome to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game that's so much more dope than it is wacked. Last week, we asked you to bend down, lean forward and give us your best captions for a photo from The Love Guru. I don't know if you all brought in your own Caption Gurus (or if there was some other mystical power at work), but we received some of the most awesomest captions yet. Good job!

1. "This is hard to say, but the reason I called the four of you in to my office is to let you know that you are being downsized." -- Anthony G.

2. "We're sorry, we thought this was a shrink's office." -- Kurt P.

3. "Honey, I shrunk the agent." -- Suraj C.

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This week, you're gonna have to bring out those mad skillz for a movie that's hotter than a McSkillet, ya dig? (What does that even mean?) Yup, we're shellin' out some lovin' for a little indie called The Wackness, featuring mad rhymes, dope flava ... Josh Peck, Olivia Thirlby, Famke Janssen and Ben Kingsley. Holla! But check it: One grand prize winner will take away a ridiculous Sony DVP-FX820 portable DVD player. Word. Seriously, though, The Wackness is a blast -- great soundtrack, fun movie, take your friends, the whole nine. Flick hits theaters on July 3. Sound off punks!



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