Posted Oct 8th 2008 9:32PM by Cinematical staff
Filed under: Fandom, Cinematical Seven, Lists
(All this month we'll be bringing back some of our favorite Halloween-themed posts, as well as digging up some brand new stuff from beyond the grave. Enjoy!) By: Matt BradshawSince the 1980s was a time of truly horrifying fashions and some downright scary hairdos (pass the Aquanet, please) it's no surprise that it was also a boom period for horror films. Some of the biggest horror franchises in history came into their own then, and the decade was marked by the emergence of home video, the greatest thing ever to happen to horror. I'm presenting these in no particular order, but these are all flicks I found time to enjoy between solving my Rubik's Cube and admiring girls in leg-warmers (I keep hoping those will come back).
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)Despite what ultimately ended up on screen, this project began its undead life as a more or less official sequel to the movie that gave birth to the modern zombie genre. After completion of
Night of the Living Dead, director
George Romero and co-screenwriter
John Russo both held sequel rights. While Romero continued the series with 1978's
Dawn of the Dead, Russo's sequel came in the form of a potboiler of a novel called
Return of the Living Dead. The book is a real chore to plod through, but apparently writer/director
Dan O'Bannon liked it enough to turn it into a film which fortunately bears no resemblance to Russo's novel. In the film, the events of
Night of the Living Dead are more or less based on a true occurrence, but names and details were changed to avoid law suits. Several drums of the chemical manufactured by the military to reanimate the dead were mistakenly shipped to Uneeda Medical Supply. A dopey pair of guys release the chemical which makes its way into some cadavers in the warehouse and eventually the cemetery across the street, where a gang of punk rockers are killing time. These zombies are more selective than most, feasting only on brains. Not everything works perfectly, but the zombie known as Tarman is pretty cool,
Linnea Quigley is naked most of the time and there's an awesome punk soundtrack.
Continue reading Cinematical Seven: Cool Horror Films of the 80s
Posted Oct 7th 2008 10:02PM by Erik Davis
Filed under: Comedy, Fandom, Cinematical Seven, Lists
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While I'm sure we'll all agree that these past few years have given us some wonderful little comedic gems, it's often unfortunate to see most of the attention thrown at one particular sex, or, in some cases, one particular man: Judd Apatow. But this post won't be about Judd Apatow, or Seth Rogen ,or Jonah Hill, or Michael Cera, or Will Ferrell, or Adam McKay, or Vince Vaughn, or Owen Wilson, or Kevin Smith ... or any of the male names that currently populate (and dominate) some of your favorite comedies. Nope, because it's about damn time we give the ladies some respect.
I'm sick of the female roles in comedies today. She's either the bland girlfriend, or the bland friend, or the bland enemy -- she's full of cliches, and only serves two purposes: 1) to help move the story along, and 2) to make her male counterpart appear funnier. That said, Hollywood is beginning to take more chances on the female-driven comedy, with films like
Baby Mama, The House Bunny, Sex and the City, Bride Wars and
Confessions of a Shopaholic all arriving in theaters this year or in early 2009. But is this enough? Is there better, smarter and funnier material for women out there, somewhere ... over the rainbow? While you ponder that, here, in my opinion, are the funniest ladies of 2008 (in no particular order) ...
1. Tina FeyRight now you know her as "that woman who does the awesome Sarah Palin impersonation," but people forget Fey has been making us laugh for a good while now. One of
three four women on this list who began their career on
Saturday Night Live, Fey brings hilarity from multiple directions. Whether she's producing, writing or starring, anything with her name on it is guaranteed to bring in more than a few laughs ... and then some. (See:
Mean Girls, 30 Rock, Baby Mama)
Continue reading Cinematical Seven: The Funniest Ladies of 2008
Posted Oct 4th 2008 3:02PM by Erik Davis
Filed under: Action, Comedy, Drama, Independent, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Fandom, Newsstand, Movie Marketing, Comic/Superhero/Geek, Remakes and Sequels, Lists, Images, Trailers and Clips
Continue reading Cinematical's Stuff That Happened This Week
Posted Oct 2nd 2008 10:02PM by Peter Martin
Filed under: Comedy, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Family Films, Cinematical Seven, Remakes and Sequels, Lists
I grew up reading Charlotte's Web and watching Mister Ed and the Francis (the Talking Mule, with Donald O'Connor) movies on TV, so I have a very warm spot in my heart for talking animals. They can inspire wondrous flights of fantasy, lift the spirits with good-natured humor, and lead to a deep and abiding respect for nature and the environment.
Of course, watching the Yogi Bear cartoons once made me think I could take on a black bear foraging for food at our family's camping site in Yellowstone National Park -- I was six years old and had to be physically restrained -- so I can see the down side as well. Still, dozens of animated films have made it abundantly clear that it's possible to lend human voices to the animal kingdom without dumbing the material down to idiocy and, when done right (Babe, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, Joe's Apartment), live-action talking animals also deserve to be a treasured part of our cinematic heritage.
But not these. Here are seven (mostly) live-action movies featuring talking animals that attack our sense of what makes a movie good.
7. Underdog (2007)
When Hollywood screws around with my cherished childhood memories, I strain to give them the benefit of the doubt. There's no excuse, though, for this abomination of a movie. I realize that Wally Cox's dweeby voice would be impossible for someone else to replicate, but Jason Lee? Really?! A huge chunk of the original cartoon's charm was the very simple (cheap) animation, which relied upon the writers to come up with witty things for the actors to say. None of that was transplanted to the live-action movie and I can't imagine any children looking back fondly upon this version of Underdog in the future.
Continue reading Cinematical Seven: When Talking Animals Attack
Posted Sep 30th 2008 10:02PM by Patricia Chui
Filed under: Fandom, Lists
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Who doesn't love pie? And more importantly, who doesn't love pie in the face? Well, as long as it's not YOUR face. (Though of course you can balance out the humiliation of being served -- so to speak -- with the knowledge that what you were being served was dessert goodness.)
The history of pie-fighting in movies is vast and varied, ranging from the simple to the sublime. Oh heck, who am I kidding? It's all just a messy, slapstick good time. Take a look at these famous movie pie fights, and then let us know: What's your favorite? Which ones did we miss? If you were to get hit in the face with a pie, what type would you prefer? And ... are you hungry yet?
Continue reading The Greatest Pie Fights in Movies
Posted Sep 30th 2008 8:03PM by Cinematical staff
Filed under: Fandom, Cinematical Seven, Lists
(As a way of welcoming my very favorite month of the year, I thought it would be fun to reprint one of the very few good articles I've ever written. So here it is!)By: Scott WeinbergHouse of Wax, starring Paris Hilton.
The Fog, starring Wooden Superman.
The Amityville Horror, starring Van Wilder.
Yep, it's tough to be an old-school hardcore horror fan these days, what with all the really atrocious remakes that keep flopping off of the studios' assembly lines. (If you paid money to see
When a Stranger Calls, you're either one devoted horror fan -- or a really bored high school kid.) But since the Horror Fan is nothing if not loyally optimistic, we trudge off to each successive remake with a small kernel of hope -- maybe this one won't suck the proverbial egg. So while it's perfectly logical for a passionate horror geek to throw up his/her hands and shriek
"Ack! Horror remakes! They all suck!!" -- the simple truth is that they don't all suck. The good ones are just pretty darn few and far between.
7.
Night of the Living Dead (1990)-- Splatter-master Tom Savini got the chance to direct his own remake of Romero's all-time classic back in 1990, and -- whaddaya know? -- he did a pretty solid job of it! With extra gore dripping from the floorboards and the presence of genre favorites Tony Todd & Bill Moseley, this re-visit came long before the Remake Renaissance, but I think it still holds up pretty well today.
Continue reading Cinematical Seven: Horror Remakes That DON'T Suck!
Posted Sep 23rd 2008 9:32PM by Monika Bartyzel
Filed under: Comedy, Fandom, Cinematical Seven, Lists
It is inevitable -- any form of art will, at some point, turn inwards. Instead of focusing on other forms of life, the form will attempt to reveal itself -- whether exploratory and serious or sarcastic and mocking. In Hollywood, the camera has spun inwards countless times. Sometimes it's earnest, but most often it's a great serving of satire and irony.
There are a ton of great examples of this, from
Boogie Nights to
Pee-Wee's Big Adventure,
Strange Brew to
The Big Lebowski. If I had 50 slots, I could make this comprehensive, but I only have seven. So you're getting the best mock-filled flicks of this century -- films ranging from the year 2000 all the way to 2008. Check them out after the jump, and weigh in with your picks below.
WARNING: The following videos are NSFW. They contain, among other things, violence and foul language. Watch at your own risk.Continue reading Cinematical Seven: Top Seven Movies Within Movies Since 2000
Posted Sep 8th 2008 10:02PM by Scott Weinberg
Filed under: Animation, Classics, Comedy, Drama, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Fandom, Family Films, Home Entertainment, Cinematical Seven, Lists
You could probably tell if you got me on the phone: I had some severe oral surgery just a few days ago. It was a long time coming (stemming from a genetic calcium deficiency, a nasty fall during Labor Day weekend, and years of simple stupidity on my part), it was
very unpleasant, and ... it's over. Aside from the healing process, that is, which is often more uncomfortable than the actual procedures. (If you're reading these words, go brush your teeth right now. Seriously. I'll wait.) So since I'll be spending the next several days drinking soup and popping cocktails made of Vicodin and antibiotics, I'll also need a big stack of "comfort movies" to make me feel better. And to make myself feel even better than that, I choose to share those movies with you.
So if you're low, cranky, depressed, ill, miserable, or simply recovering from a dental procedure that makes
Marathon Man look like
Mr. Mom, try some of these on for size. Odds are you've seen 'em already, but each one has some sort of magical healing power that I'm very grateful for.
Finding Nemo -- This is my #1. Whenever I can't sleep, have a headache, or am convalescing from endodontic agony, there's just something so sweetly soothing about this movie. Perhaps the underwater locale has something to do with it, but
Finding Nemo always chills me out. And if you've ever met me, you know how valuable a movie like that can be. I even like the dentist, and that's saying something.
The Fellowship of the Ring -- The early stuff in Hobbiton is so damn beautiful ... and that music! Plus, the idea of starting off on a VERY long adventure reminds me of watching movies as a kid (when every movie seemed four hours long), and that's a very valuable power for a movie to possess.
The Princess Bride -- 'Nuff said.
Continue reading Cinematical Seven: The World's Best 'Comfort' Movies
Posted Sep 5th 2008 5:02PM by Erik Davis
Filed under: Action, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, RumorMonger, Fandom, Remakes and Sequels, Lists
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Look, I'm thinking the same thing you are: Here comes
Hollywood to screw up another one of our beloved franchises by re-imagining it for this new, hip generation. Whenever they try to mess with nostalgia, it always comes back to bite them in the ass -- but could things be different with a franchise like
Ghostbusters, which gave us two films ... and, let's admit it, only one real classic? Here are five ways to make a cool
Ghostbusters sequel ...
1. Get the Apatow crew involvedWhen you look back at the original
Ghostbusters, you see names like Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ivan Reitman. Back in 1984, these were the folks who made us
really laugh. These were the young-ish voices of the time; the guys you wanted to pay money to see because you knew they'd be worth it. Today, the same can be said for guys like Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Steve Carell, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera and Craig Robinson. At least a few of those names should show up in the sequel in order for it to have a really good shot of succeeding with fans.
2. Get a director who understands the franchise (ie: Harold Ramis or Ivan Reitman)While there's a very good chance we'll end up seeing
Judd Apatow's name tossed around as producer (no way he's directing this), the best way to hold on to what we love about
Ghostbusters is to bring on a man who was there for the first two and knows what, exactly, makes this franchise work. Ramis has been working with the Apatow clan a lot lately (directing
Year One, appeared in both
Knocked Up and
Walk Hard), and is perfectly capable of directing and acting in a film (Hello Egon cameo!). He'd by my choice for this, and, I'm sure, will also lend his voice to the script.
Continue reading Friday Five: Ways to Make a Cool 'Ghostbusters' Sequel
Posted Sep 1st 2008 1:02PM by Eric D. Snider
Filed under: Fandom, Lists, Guilty Pleasures, Moviefone Feedback
Before I talk about a "guilty pleasures" list, I'll start with the same disclaimer that everyone starts with when they talk about a "guilty pleasures" list: When it comes to entertainment, there shouldn't be any such thing as a guilty pleasure. If something is bad in an entertaining way, and you enjoy it, then so what? Just because you're enjoying it for reasons other than what the filmmaker intended (e.g., laughing at a movie that was supposed to be scary) doesn't mean you need to feel guilty about it. Now, if you tried to convince people that the movie is good -- not so-bad-it's-good, but actually GOOD -- well, then maybe your friends would question your taste. But hey, don't feel guilty. Let your freak flag fly!
Now then. The handsome devils at
Moviefone asked readers what their favorite guilty pleasures are, and what do you know, the readers
gave them some. Most of the nominated titles are ones that very few people would defend as being legitimately good, but that apparently lots of people are able to enjoy for other reasons:
Battlefield Earth (pictured),
Crossroads,
Coyote Ugly, etc.
Having recently re-watched
Anaconda for research purposes (really!), I agree with its inclusion on the list. It fails utterly at what it was trying to do, but it sure makes me laugh, particularly Jon Voight's campy performance that sounds like Christopher Walken mixed with Zorro.
The readers offer explanations for their choices, too. For example, on
Howard the Duck, "Lisa41794" says, "Lea Thompson and alien duck have sex. What's more entertaining than that ... lol." What's more entertaining than that lol indeed, Lisa41794!
Check out the
list and photo gallery to see what else made the list. And feel free to tell us what your favorite guilty pleasures are in the comments below.
Posted Aug 30th 2008 9:03PM by Scott Weinberg
Filed under: Action, Animation, Comedy, Horror, Music & Musicals, Romance, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Thrillers, Mystery & Suspense, Theatrical Reviews, Fandom, Family Films, Comic/Superhero/Geek, Remakes and Sequels, Games and Game Movies, Lists, Summer Movies, Fan Rant
It's difficult (and a little silly) to try and judge an entire quarter-year's movies in one lump sum -- but that's what we seem to do at the end of every
Summer Movie Season. That's when all our excitement, expectations, and final reactions come colliding together and we find ourselves thinking: "Was I actually looking forward to that piece of
crap for four months?" But to me, each summer is like a walk through a carnival: Some of the attractions dazzle me, others simply don't interest me, and a few are just a waste of tickets. But once early May rolls around, I'm always ready for another trip to the Hollywood Movie Carnival. (It's where you find all the tentpoles!)
So while I'm elated to greet the upcoming season of "prestige movies," there's little denying that we've had one hell of a good summer, cinematical-ly speaking. I'm not talking about box office grosses, because frankly that stuff is so unimportant. What matters is that we got some good flicks, a few pieces of mindless (yet well-made) popcorn adventures, and even a few great films that will enjoy a very long shelf life. So while I'm not exactly sure that 2008 represents the finest Summer Movie Season of all time, I'd definitely say it was more good than bad. But if you can think of a summer that was better than this one, you know where to throw your comments. (In the comments section.)
Continue reading Discuss: Summer Movie Season 2008 -- The Big Recap
Posted Aug 28th 2008 8:33PM by Monika Bartyzel
Filed under: Fandom, Lists
Just attempting to make a small list of any large field of film will immediately invoke dissatisfaction. It doesn't matter if you cloak it in your own personal favorites, or try to narrow it down to a specific theme. Someone, somewhere will say you're missing X, or have forgotten Y. I get that, and I try not to be one of those people when I scoff at lists I don't agree with.
But sometimes it's just inevitable, especially when the lists talk about super-loved geek fare or cult favorites. Both have die-hard fans, and when it comes to the cult genre, it's fans who adore and fight for a film without having met seas of marketing and press. The movie itself is what inspires the cult following, rising the film from the forgotten piles of dust and into the never-forgotten ranks of cult infamy.
So I have to say, I'm pretty darned surprised at
Entertainment Weekly's The Cult 25: The Essential Left-Field Movie Hits Since '83. (It's pretty much
this list, without the older films.) At the very least, they narrowed the time frame down, but as soon as I saw "essential," I knew there would be holes, and strangely placed films.
Continue reading Discuss: What's the Greatest Cult Movie?
Posted Aug 19th 2008 12:02PM by Elisabeth Rappe
Filed under: Fandom, Lists, The Geek Beat
The arrival of snow in the mountains in my neck of the woods means that summer really is on the way out. It seems like it was only yesterday that we were discussing what would be the hits and misses of the season. Now the talk is going to turn to Oscar buzz and Halloween horror. Are you freaked by how quickly time has flown by yet?
Anyway, seeing as school is already in session, I've decided to pay homage to my Geek Beat predecessor, Mark Beall, and do a list of things we learned during the summer season. For no good numerical reason, I stopped at 15. From there, it's your turn to share what important lessons you will carry from your time in the multiplex. (And a special thanks goes out to Jarrette and Matt, who bantered back and forth with me in this study session.)
1. You can use a snake as a rope and its fragile skeletal system won't pull apart. They won't even bite you if it does! (Indiana Jones)
2. All it really takes to be Batman? A really strong jaw, and nice lips.
3. When faced with Tony Stark, all your hard-hitting journalism training goes out the window. (Iron Man)
4. You can get a custom Joker suit made and no one will ever connect you or its purchase to the psychopath terrorizing Gotham. (The Dark Knight)
5. Fridges preserve not only food, but life. In the event of a nuclear blast or poisonous air, they will save humans and plants alike. Who knew? Not I. My watercress goes bad after a week. (Wall-E and Indiana Jones)
Continue reading The Geek Beat: What We Learned in Summer 2008
Posted Aug 12th 2008 10:02PM by Monika Bartyzel
Filed under: Obits, Cinematical Seven, Lists
For me, it started with the deaths of comedic greats like Lucille Ball and Jackie Gleason. Death had become real and tangible, making the world and showbusiness finite. Since then, the numbers have gradually increased. We're slowly walking into the period where memorials and tributes aren't relegated to actors before our time, but to the names and faces that shaped our views of entertainment -- the people who we have spent so much time with on the big screen, and within the comfort of our own homes.
But we're not just losing people to age. 2008 has been a heavy year for Hollywood, losing both rising stars and big names with long careers. Considering the fact that we just lost two more, I wanted to take a moment and look back at this year's shockers. Some of these men were young, some of these men were older, but all of them have left this earth too soon.
Continue reading Cinematical Seven: Seven Men Gone Too Soon
Posted Aug 12th 2008 8:02PM by Erik Davis
Filed under: Action, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Fandom, Comic/Superhero/Geek, Remakes and Sequels, Lists
I'm not sure what the difference is between a bad ass
Star Wars moment, a great
Star Wars moment and a memorable
Star Wars moment, but something tells me the list of 31
Star Wars moments on
Galactic Binder is a little bit of all of the above. They're calling it
The Top 31 Bad Ass Star Wars Moments, so we'll stick with that for now. And while I certainly don't agree with the placement of a some scenes on this list, as well as the lack of a few classic scenes from the earlier films, I will say that, all together and across six films, we're looking at some very awesome movie moments.
Surprisingly, they include a whole bunch of scenes from the prequels, and, in doing so, leave out such favorites as the battle on Hoth in
Empire Strikes Back, or the Ewok battle in
Jedi. They mention the scene in which Leia chokes Jabba the Hut in
Jedi (#25), but not the scene where Luke does the back flip off the plank, grabs his light saber in mid air and lands fighting his ass off. LOVE that scene. Oddly enough, they also mention the scene where Leia first appears in her gold bikini as being bad ass, but NOT the subsequent scene with Luke fighting the rancor. Strange ... but okay.
Anyway, their number one scene is the "I love you" bit between Han and Leia before he's frozen, whereas I would've chosen the scene pictured above. In my opinion, it's one of the greatest mid-point reversal/plot twists ever. On their list it's number 14. Bah! Feel free to
check out their list to see where your favorite scenes rank, then tell us what they are in the comments section below.
[Thanks Mike]
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