Today in Russian Stripper Weekly: Who cares about the markets crashing when GQ files a story titled Megan Fox Was A Teenage Lesbian?

Yes, while those of you unemployed out there are scurrying about to find new work, you'll most certainly take comfort in knowing that actress Megan Fox informed GQ Magazine that she once had a lesbian affair with a Russian stripper. Um, Megan, who hasn't? She tells the mag, "I want people to know me through the movies I do. I want to be judged on that. If you start becoming famous for your personal life, that's when your career goes away." What about being famous because you're hot? Is that enough? Also in the interview, Fox goes after the Mouse House ("F*ck Disney") and wonders "Who's given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me." When asked whether her character would have more to do in Transformers 2, Fox -- and this is why I love her -- simply replied, "Transformers 2 is directed by Michael Bay." Translation: They have me wearing a more expensive push-up bra this time around. Read the full interview here.

But what if Fox wanted to shed her bad lesbian girl image and, instead, learn how to become a real Jedi? Could she? Are there classes she could take? Funny you should ask: Beginning this November, Queen's University Belfast will begin offering a class called Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way. According to the course description, folks can "Learn the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind-tricks - mindfulness, instinct, serenity, empathy, influence, flow. Light sabres not provided!" Wait, so if Fox was in one hit movie and has graced the cover of practically every major magazine, then maybe she's already a Jedi? Regardless, call me when this class hits the states -- I'm signing right up! [via io9]

Despite being seemingly obligated by demographic alone to enjoy it, I didn't particularly care for Michael Bay's Transformers, even after a recent second look on the small screen. Regardless, the people have spoken with their wallets, and Transformers 2: Revenge of the Ka-Ching is well underway for its release next summer.

Embedded above is the first of several behind-the-scenes videos that Wal-Mart will be providing in the coming months, and right from the get-go, the visionary Bay talks about not only making a sequel that'll make kids' dreams, but also sticking his custom-made Nikes up the collective ass of his crew. Watch as "Bay-os" and "Bay-hem" ensue in Bethlehem, PA, with fast bikes, nice cars, and big booms...

Heck, just about the only thing missing from this two-minute taste is some sweet hand-injury action.

I'm not one of those waiting for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen with a whole lot of anticipation. I feel bad about saying that, but let's face it, Transformers passed me right by as I was playing with Strawberry Shortcake. Many have tried to re-educate me on the awesomeness of Optimus Prime, and failed.

Nevertheless, even I have to admit it's pretty cool when a screenwriter drops in among their fans for a good sequel chat. That's what Robert Orci, one of the scriptwriters for Transformers 1 and 2, has done over at Transformer World 2005. The dedicated can sift through what is currently 82(!) pages of script Q&A, by the time you read this, it will probably be 182. Much of it is hints as to which robots might factor into the sequel -- including a tease that Arcee, the girl Transformer, might appear. On the other hand, he's careful to remind fans that anything you hear about the film is probably careful disinformation, but well meant. "It is fun to 'play' with fandom, not to toy with fandom -- I do not hand out disinformation."

But there's a few reliable sounding bits in here. According to Orci, the sequel will be more "global" in scale, and that there won't a lot of re-introductions. "The first movie is all about the mystery and reveal of the Transformers as a concept and a species, which means we had to hide them a lot in the first hour. In the second movie, now that everyone believes in the universe, we can jump right into the world of the Transformers." The movie will be firmly rooted in Transformers mythology, but will also maintain the "liberties" taken with it in the first film.

He insists they're listening to fan input, so anything you want to see, now's the time to demand it. I'm going to go ahead and demand Arcee, if only to ponder how Transformers can have gender, and whether she will be pink.

Above: At the request of director Michael Bay, Transformers 2 star Megan Fox turns her B into a C.

Lord knows what Megan Fox is doing in the above photo (exercising her breasts for an action scene?), though it may have something to do with Michael Bay's main directorial note (mentioned in this earlier post), which is to "just look hot." Regardless of Fox's boob shuffle, her and co-star Shia LaBeouf are back to work on the set of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and, yes, it certainly looks like they've worked Shia's bandaged hand into the script (based on the photos below). They even added a bunch of badass blood to it! Seeing as folks who get injured in movies never wear any bandages, it should be rather interesting to see how they work this in (ahem, too many nights up late "thinking" about Megan Fox???). Check out a few photos from the set (and Shia's bloody, bandaged hand) in the gallery below, then scope out the rest over at Spoiler TV.

Update: Thanks to Cinematical reader Erik for pointing out the fact that Fox is wearing a ring on a certain finger. Does it mean something? Here, take a closer look at this photo to the right (and click to enlarge). You tell us ...

The man who brought us the videos for "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Bullet with Butterfly Wings," and who was at one point turning Scarlett Johansson into a diamond thief, is getting ready for a different feature. The Hollywood Reporter posts that Sam Bayer is teaming up with Michael Bay for the action thriller called Fiasco Heights.

Said to have shades of film noir, the film focuses on a gunman who heads to the crime-filled city of Fiasco Heights. There, he "teams with a degenerate gambler/private eye on the run from a syndicate to look for a beautiful femme fatale and a mysterious briefcase." Oh, those pesky briefcases and sexy women. THR says that there has been a few drafts of the script, but the most recent was penned by Kyle Ward. This is actually his spec, that was picked up last year in April, so I guess he got to bring his pen back to it after some rewrites.

So far, the project is moving along slowly, and time will tell if this Bayer feature fares any better than Brilliance, the ScarJo piece, which seems to have faded into the oblivion.

In a new interview with Access Hollywood, it would appear director Michael Bay is in complete control of the whole "Shia kinda f**ked up the sequel" situation. Not only does Bay insist that Shia LaBeouf wasn't drunk when he wrecked his car, but he also alluded to re-writing the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen script so that Shia can work with a damaged hand. On whether LaBeouf was drunk at the time of the accident, Bay says, "You're gonna see - that's gonna go away. That's fresh news... He was not drunk. He was drinking hours and hours before." Wait ... did he mean "he was drinking FOR hours and hours before?" Heh.

But the most interesting part for us film fanatics comes when Bay says, "I spoke to him yesterday in the hospital. His two fingers are pretty mashed, but we're figuring out a way to shoot around it, kind of write it in the story." Early reports claimed LaBeouf would have to miss about a month of shooting, which, depending on who you talk to, either does or does not put a major strain on the production. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Bay was in LaBeouf's hospital room right now with a giant freakin' robot and a camera shooting away, while screaming, "Just get everything ... we'll figure it all out in post!"

In case you're interested Mr. Bay, we here at Cinematical have a few ideas on how you can work Shia's injured hand into the script. And you can start by reading this post over on Spout ...

[via Hollywood Hills]

Have you ever wondered what The Dark Knight might look like written by someone other than Christopher Nolan? Perhaps in your deepest, darkest, dissatisfied-with-Batman-Begins level of consciousness, you wondered what it might look like if tackled by another director. One who had more action movies on his resume. Someone like ... Michael Bay.

Well, look no further. A few pages of his rejected script have appeared online, courtesy of Spill.com. I think one of my biggest problems with Nolan's Batman films is their absolute celibacy. Batman is a red-blooded American male in the comics; he romances many of Gotham's loveliest ladies. Rachel Dawes would never have been so coldly shoved aside in the comics -- and thankfully, Bay looks to be rectifying this. Plus, I really like his take on Dawes. She knows that she can be sexy and smart without being any less of a woman. And she isn't just a D.A. either! She's a skilled mechanic, and is able to fix the Batmobile when its owner can't. Just judging from the few pages, Bay has put her in the center of the action, and not relegated her to the sidelines like Nolan did.

All right, I can't really keep this up. You'll have to just go read it yourself and have a good laugh at all the talk of toned stomachs, beads of sweat, and AC/DC songs. And please, Mr. Bay -- don't hold it against us here at Cinematical. We have a Megan Fox gallery and we'll all go see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I promise.

[Thanks, Matt, for sending this to me.]

She's been voted the number one sexiest girl in the history of the universe times twelve by every single magazine that ever existed ... but what people really want to know is: How do you direct someone that hot? Well, thank heavens for dudes like Michael Bay, who's just made the difficult task a whole lot easier for future directors (aspiring or working). While speaking to MTV about Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, Megan Fox said this of Bay's slick directorial skillz: "His main note to me is just to look hot; so I try my best." Nice. What would we do without directors like Bay who really cherish the female character and what she means to the overall finished product? Bravo! Give this man an award.

In other Transformers 2 news, Fox also told MTV that they're "on locations in some really exotic places" and "it's just going to be a badass movie." Perhaps her most interesting quotes, however, had to do with the on set re-writes of the script. She says, "You know, we've been having script meetings, and we've been reworking the script, because they wrote it fast because of the writer's strike. And, we've just been going through and trying to do some character stuff for Shia and myself in the middle of this crazy world that they're in."

Fear not, a lot of filmmakers work on the script while they're shooting, so I'm sure everything will turn out just fine in the end. And hey, as long as Megan Fox looks hot, right?

(Above: Transformers 2 filming in (and blowing up) poor Pennsylvania.)

Update: Paramount announced that the official title for Transformers 2 will be Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.

And then there were two ...

Iron Man 2: I'm not sure how Coming Soon and IESB managed to ask the same exact questions to Iron Man director Jon Favreau (perhaps they're dating and, like, read each others' minds), but that's what it looks like from here. Both sites visited the set of I Love You Man, starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel, where Favreau was starring in a supporting role. But who cares about that when we've got Iron Man 2 to talk about!?

According to Favreau, he still isn't signed on yet and negotiations with all the actors are ongoing. Of course, he's interested in directing both Iron Man 2 and The Avengers, but because Marvel scheduled the films a year apart, he feels it's literally impossible for him to do both. Favreau also discusses the many potential storylines that could exist in such a sequel, but notes that it's hard to talk about any of this because Marvel is extremely busy prepping the debut of The Incredible Hulk (which we'll talk about in another post). Check either site for much more from Favreau.

Transformers 2: For the first time in a couple hundred years, Pennsylvania has become the cool place to be. Oh yes, that's because Transformers 2 is causing all sorts of mayhem -- with their blowing up of a steel factory, sending hundreds of Asian extras running through the streets of make-believe China. (Is it me, or should Michael Bay receive an Oscar nod simply for making Pennsylvania pass off as China?) Tons of photos from around the set have popped up online over at TFW2005 (see one above).

After the jump: Did someone say Star Trek sequels?

The entire movie nerd world set up camp in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania yesterday as Transformers 2 began production. A number of websites boasted their own exclusive images from the set of the sequel -- most of which contained blurry shots of helicopters circling the Bethlehem steel complex where shooting is taking place. The outside of one building wears some glowing, neon Chinese lettering -- leading many to believe the complex is, in fact, doubling for some sort of old plant in a Chinese city (or the largest take-out Chinese joint we've ever seen).

A few images popped up over on JoBlo (see one to the right), and their "on the scene guy" says there were "4 Apache helicopters, as well as 2 choppers with Chinese lettering and the word 'Police' in English. Both of those choppers had cameras on them." For awhile, said helicopters circled the plant before doing some "take offs and landings."

Additionally (and if you're really into watching blurry helicopters fly through the air), another dude captured the scene on video and posted it up on YouTube (via Superhero Hype). You can check out that video after the jump. Finally, MTV claims Matthew Marsden has joined the Transformers 2 cast as a member of the British Special Forces. Watch out: The British are coming!