Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Rachael Leigh Cook and Snoop Dogg. Yes, Cook and Dogg have joined the romantic comedy The Golden Door. Unfortunately they will not be playing love interests in the film. Door will also star Sarah Roemer (Shia LaBeouf's co-star in Disturbia, which I'm watching tonight) and Joseph Cross (who played Augusten Burroughs in the astonishingly terrible Running with Scissors). The film will be about "a blue-collar nursing student played by Cross who's forced to quit school after his father dies in a freak handball accident." Yeah, you read that right -- a freak handball accident. "His uncle finds him a job as a doorman in a swank Manhattan apartment building, leading to an unlikely romance with a young resident, played by Roemer."

Cook (star of She's All That and the criminally underrated pop culture satire Josie and the Pussycats) will play "the sister who encourages Cross' relationship, much to the dismay of the girl's mother." Snoop Dogg (director and co-star of the Adult Video News award-winner Snoop Dogg's Hustlaz: Diary of a Pimp) plays "the slick doorman who hazes his new co-worker and shows him the ropes." I can hear the dialogue now: "You've got to learn to drop it, son. Drop it...like it's hot!" The film was written and will be directed by David M. Rosenthal (See This Movie). Rosenthal apparently has pretty lofty ambitions for the movie, which he told The Hollywood Reporter is "about an Upstairs, Downstairs type of relationship. The film explores class distinctions and the American ideal."

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Slogging out to the multiplexes to see 2006's overstuffed lineup of CGI-animated kids' films was a truly soul-deadening experience. These polished widgets -- Over the Hedge, The Ant Bully, Cars, Barnyard, Flushed Away -- dropped off the conveyor belt like so many shining pennies, exactly the same and worth about as much. Most of these films used the exact same template: An outsider hero with some kind of "loner" issues was accidentally thrust into a world peopled with colorful characters. After facing some kind of larger challenge, the hero learned how to be part of a family. These films didn't even bother to disguise their boredom; they could have been generated from the same computer program.

For the record (and to register a differing opinion from that of our own Kim Voynar) George Miller's Happy Feet is the year's only example of animated excellence; it's the only entry that demonstrates even the tiniest form of imagination, and it has practically become a phenomenon among audiences starved for such things.

Usually on Cinematical, when we talk about "exhibition" we are referring to the business of theaters showing movies. We are not referring to celebrities showing ... things we might prefer not to see. However, the recurring story that is buzzing all over the universe of celebrity gossip has to do with Britney Spears continually going out on the town in short skirts and nothing underneath, and then doing what is becoming known as an "upskirt," which simply means she forgot all those lessons from older female relatives about sitting in a ladylike and modest fashion. I have seen more photos this week with significant bits covered by stars or other graphics, and I prefer not to click on the photos to view what is being hidden. (Gawker simply posts the undoctored photos after the jump, which is something I found out the hard way.) Perhaps she's allergic to certain fabrics?

Rosie O'Donnell actually bought the actress/singer a pair of underwear (which look similar to the pair sported by Jamie Kennedy) and wants to teach Spears "how to wear underwear again." However, I feel that the best and most genteel solution might be intensive etiquette lessons with a strong focus on entering and exiting vehicles properly, even while under the influence of alcohol or Paris Hilton. And -- I can't believe I just wrote two paragraphs about a celebrity's lack of panties. I need to take a shower before I tackle the rest of last week's news highlights. Excuse me for a moment ...

I was the right age to enjoy the revival of half-hour TV anthology series about the odd, inexplicable, or spooky in the mid- to late 1980s: Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories, new series of The Twilight Zone and Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Tales from the Darkside, and eventually Tales from the Crypt. I may have seen one too many of these shows, because the genre seems a little tired to me. Watching Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror, which combines three such stories into one feature-length film, I felt like I'd seen most of it before, except without the fancy trimmings and gore.

In lieu of the Cryptkeeper, Snoop Dogg links three morality tales with some gruesome aspects added for thrills. Snoop Dogg is actually playing a character, the Hound of Hell, as explained in the pre-credits animated sequence. A street kid named Devon lands himself in a lot of trouble, and eventually sacrifices his life to save his sister. As a result, he becomes one of the caretakers of the Hood of Horror, who ushers the souls of the wicked into the next life, and is also required to be a sharp dresser. As animation turns into live action, Devon turns into Snoop Dogg with a HoH tattoo on his neck to remind us that he's now a Hound of Hell. Other than the tattoo, however, the character does not appear to be a big acting stretch for the rap star.

I'm writing this week's column at the very quiet hour of 5 am. Normally, 5 am is an hour when I am dead to the world, unless my cat decides it's time to play and sinks his claws into my back. However, I have one of those nasty little colds, and can't sleep, and I finally gave up. I discovered that this is a great time to read and write about Hollywood gossip, especially when you're drinking a big cup of cocoa. It doesn't require a huge amount of brainpower, the photos are often cheering and I need not worry that my husband will read over my shoulder and shake his head sadly at the content, like last week. And when I'm done, I can go back to bed, although I hope and pray that the following celebrity news doesn't infiltrate my dreams.

• Oh, Madonna. She's been at the top of the celebrity news heap all week. You try to adopt a poor little underprivileged child, and it's nothing but grief. First the father says he's confused about the adoption, then he supports it outright and wants everyone to leave Madonna alone. I'm not entirely sure why you'd adopt a kid whose father is still living, anyway; that seems like nothing but trouble. Must be an awfully cute little boy.
• I also can't avoid mentioning that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have set a wedding date of November 18. The wedding will take place in Italy, Holmes' dress will be designed by Armani, and I'm sure we'll see dozens of photos, no matter how private they try to be.

I don't know how this news slipped past us for so long, but there's a Rick James documentary in the works called, that's right, I'm Rick James. (Reading the article about it, I was stunned to see that James died in 2004. Where the hell have I been?) According to UrbanMecca.com, the movie is being made by HiddenDoor Documedia, and will feature tell-all interviews with celebs like Janice Dickinson, Busta Rhymes, Snoop Dogg and Dave Chappelle, who was once planning to star in a James biopic. Based on the bits and pieces that HiddenDoor are leaking, there's a lot of dirt in some of those interviews, and "some celebrities may be warned to prepare their alibis now." ("Oh crap. Where was I during the entire 1980s? What did I tell my wife?") Included in the fairly hilarious list of those who allegedly partied with James -- at Studio 54 and elsewhere -- during his heyday are Tatum O'Neal, Linda Blair, Prince, Mick Jagger, Eddie Murphy and, of all people, Elisabeth Shue, who must have been about 17 at the time.

While producer Perry Santos claims that the movie will be a portrait of an era, the reality of the situation is that the studio is doing its damnedest to sell it as a good, old-fashion sex, drugs and "funk'n'roll" (as James himself once put it) story. Which, honestly, is probably the best way to put butts in the seats -- if the movie ever gets distribution, that is.

I don't know what's funnier: The cast list for Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror -- or the fact that the flick played as part of the "Guilty Pleasures" lineup at this year's L.A. Film Festival. The weirdness continues: Xenon Pictures (distributors of Blood Ranch!) has purchased Hood of Horror, and they plan on (maybe) giving it a theatrical release later this year -- and if the flick opens on more than 200 screens, I'll eat an entire birthday cake all by myself.

Or perhaps I'm being too hard on a low-budget horror comedy anthology piece that stars Danny Trejo, Ernie Hudson, Lin Shaye, Aires Spears, Diamond Dallas Page, Jason Alexander, Method Man, Billy Dee Williams, and the King Snizzle Snoop himself. As a matter of fact, the flick was directed by Stacy Title, who (once upon a time) directed a rather intriguing ensemble black comedy called The Last Supper.

Anyway, good, bad or outrageously moronic, I am now more than a little interested in seeing Hood of Horror. Bring it on, Xenon. It's been a few years since Tales from the Hood, so let's give it a second shot.

Frankly, I'm not sure what to make of this latest piece of low-budget horror news ... but here goes:

Snoop Dogg, Ernie Hudson, Danny Trejo, Method Man, Jason Alexander, Lin Shaye, Diamond Dallas Page and Billy Dee Williams will co-star in an inner-city horror anthology entitled Hood of Horror. Now that's a cast. (I can only assume Casper Van Dien was out of town.) But wait, there's more! Not content to simply rehash the same old construct used in the legendary horror classic Tales from the Hood, the producers hope to inject Hood with that one surefire-ingredient that always helps to make a great horror flick: humor.

Producer Christopher Tuffin says, "We are definitely looking at this film as a franchise property along the lines of 'Scary Movie' ... We want to push the envelope combining humor and gore."

I'll give the flick a fair shake, obviously (it's not too often you'll get to see Snoop Dogg, Winston Zeddemore, George Costanza and Lando Calrissian in the same room), but the last time someone used "Snoop" and "horror flick" in the same breath, Bones was born. And I still bear the emotionals scars. ...

According to first-time director Don Sikorski's documentary Rap Sheet: Hip-Hop and the Cops, "law enforcement has been compiling secret dossiers on hundreds of hip-hop artists and execs for years." In the movie, Sikorski details what is described as a "nationwide task force" - aka "the hip-hop cops" - involving local police forces, the DEA, and the FBI that, among other things, compiles surveillance videos (obtained by Sikorski from the NYPD) on its subjects. While Variety reports that some of Sikorski's film is built on information acquired through use of the Freedom of Information Act, it also makes it sound like the movie relies heavily on the words of artist such as Kanye West, Busta Rhymes, and Snoop Dogg, sources unlikely to be granted much credence by some audiences.

The movie doesn't yet have distribution, so all discussion of it at the moment is moot - hopefully a company with some balls will pick it up, put together a smart advertising campaign based on its controversial content, and get it into theaters, so we can decide for ourselves how plausible Sikorski's case is.

• Breaking News - Hong Kong action director Johnny To delivers this watchable Woo-alike about a police force that loses the support of the public when a robbery goes bad and is covered by a local news program. The set pieces are pretty tight, even if the drama and the statement To tries to make about the power and responsibility of the media doesn't fully come through.
• Free Enterprise: Special Edition - A self-effacing turn akin to Marlon Brando's in The Freshman and Pauly Shore's in Pauly Shore Is Dead is William Shatner, sending up the cult of personality that has followed him since the original Star Trek series ended its five year mission two years early in 1969. When fanboys Rafer Wiegel and Eric McCormack meet their boyhood idol, he is far from the super-cool man for all seasons they have long worshiped. He's bent on staging a one-man musical version of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, a great running joke that culminates in the brilliant payoff that is the Shatner/The Rated R rap duet, "No Tears For Caesar". Writer-director Robert Meyer Burnett has created a love letter, not just to Trek, but to anyone who has ever loved anything with fanatical passion, and this long-overdue 2-disc treatment gives it the respect it was not afforded when it was first released in 1999. Check out the Pop-Up Video style trivia track, which annotates the geekery, new special effects, the making-of feature Where No Man Has Gone Before, and the unaired TV pilot, Café Fantastique, which features the real fans who inspired this smart, hardy-har-har trek. A sequel, My Big Fat Geek Wedding, has been listed on the IMDB for nearly 3 years now, and Mindfire Entertainment's website features a rudimentary mention of it, though no firm details are available as yet.
• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Special Edition - Death, and the gloomy heft that comes with it, visits Hogwarts in the fourth and most satisfying installment in the ongoing series so far. When an evil thought vanquished literally rears its ugly head again, Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermoine (Emma Watson) team up to expose it. Like the overwhelmingly dark Revenge Of The Sith, this is the first to bear the PG-13 rating (for "sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images"), though its decidedly down ending makes it feel more like The Empire Strikes Back. It is not unreasonable to expect studio Warner Brothers to keep their three leads on through Harry Potter and the As-Yet-Unwritten-and-Untitled Year 7 Story. This, of course, is despite the fact that they will be in their early 20's by then, but let us not forget that at least one of the 90210 kids was practically eligible for Social Security by the end of that run. Even at 157 minutes, the book has still been truncated, but it is doubly encouraging to know that kids will know what is missing and will sit still for that long in order to be able to go on smartly about it. The second disc is chock-full-o' extra goodies, and is available in full- and widescreen editions. A single disc version is also available.